Waddup my dear Legends and all those people who are married and planning to have a baby! And if you are not married but still planning… Don’t do it… Get married first. C’mon it’s the kids we are talking about. Do the right thing. Do it legally. No kidding in case of kids! Be serious ok!
Well, I really want to share big news with you all….
Actually I was having a conversation with my better half peanut butter sandwich (which happens to be my favorite snack as well) about what is the right choice regarding timing of trying to have a baby. It was a very long conversation but we did manage to realize some amazing things which I want to share with you all today.
Well, I think this choice has to vary person to person because everyone has a different situation and different priorities in their life so what I am going to say may not really apply to everyone. However, it can help you while you are planning for your future in this aspect.
Generally, guys should get married if they are sound financially. If you are struggling through career or business, focus on that first and build yourself up to a level where you can sustain financially and support a family because it is the man who is responsible for supporting the family even if the woman is also working. I strongly believe that men should not shy away from that responsibility. If your woman is working, be thankful for that and honor her. She is doing a huge favour to you because her responsibility is not to earn for the family. However in these tough times, both husband and wife have to work to run the family. So when considering marriage, you have to consider financial situation. That is all off topic for now so we focus on the topic of having baby now 😀
Ideally, I believe it is best that first year of marriage should be for the couples to really know each other. It does not matter if you have been dating before but the thing is that when you really live with each other, as same unit, you see the person whole lot differently. For that matter I believe first year should be for understanding, bonding, travelling etc.
Seeing the conditions these days with respect to the pollution in environment as well as the decreasing quality of our diets (fast food, broiler chicken and carbonated drinks at the top of the list), our reproductive systems are not doing so good.
There used to be a time when women would be fine even after giving birth to 12 kids and now, women tend to give up at 2nd kid mostly due to physical limitations. Men used to be able to produce kids at ages of 80 but nowadays I have seen men of ages about 28 firing blank shots. The cellular phones technology, microwaves, radio waves etc all have contributed to the degeneration of the human reproductive system.
Now those who have been in the navy or Airforce or in a high tech environment, working close to the radar system and other complicated electro-magnetic systems, need to be really careful of this as we are more prone to become blank cartridges. Some very close people also advised not to do any family planning for first child as it tells weather any problem exists or not. A lot many people who used protection in the start later ended up not being able to have kids.
My maternal aunt was not able to conceive in first 4 years of marriage. The social pressure started to build up. People started talking. They started comparing her to the cousins who married at same time and had babies at that time around. Luckily, her husband started consulting some good doctors right after they realized the problem. People did say stuff like “what is the use of seeing a doctor now? Why not wait a few years?” He would say that “after few years, the same effort has to be done. Why not do it now?” And he was right! They did have a son after 4 years of their marriage and then a daughter, then a son and a daughter and then another son.
So what I want to say is that it is best to not resist anything for the first child. The benefits of having a child early are as follows:
1) You have energy
If you do it early, you have a lot of energy to do things. In our youth, a lot of issues don’t affect us and we can cut through the tough times like sleepless nights and the diaper problems. In a young age, you are more playful and can have a lot of fun with the kids without getting tired!
2) You can enjoy every moment
In a young age you are full of life. This is the age you can climb mountains, swim in oceans and run a marathon if you work on it. Every moment of your younger time is the one you cherish in your old age. If there is a loving wife and a baby in that moment, this is something you will always be thankful for.
3) Your family is likely to be more available
Now in my case, Alhamdullillah my mom and dad are alive and well. My 3 younger sisters live with me. My wife’s family is all available. Her paternal and maternal grandmothers are also close. So, if you have a similar scenario like mine, let me tell you that you truly are blessed and so will your child be. Imagine the love and care from the parents, grandparents and great grandparents of the child. This is something that cannot be exchanged for any amount of money in the world. Moreover, you will always have their guidance as to how to handle the baby so in this way you will not have to rely on trial and error!
Having said all that, I would like to announce that on 3rd of August 2019 at half past 3pm, my son Khan Jr. was born. It is truly an amazing feeling and I cannot describe in words. Being a father was something very important to me and I have been blessed to have a son at an age of 26. I will always be thankful to Allah that my son will have his father, mother, his paternal and maternal uncles, aunts, grandparents and great grandparents with him. Mom and Dad have a lot of energy in them at the age of 56 and it is so cool to see them play with him all day.
Please remember us in your prayers. This is Khan signing off for today.
Peace be upon you all!